It’s hard for people to imagine another way to see the world that they don’t have in their minds, so it’s a gear shift to realize that if other people have different tastes to me, they probably don’t see things the same way I do, therefore I cannot judge other peoples outputs by my framework.
It goes further than that it’s a phenomenon that affects All our calculations about other people. It’s the assumption that I see the world this way, and because I am a people, I, therefore, conclude that different people see the world the same way I see it.
A lot of this is that we don’t know what we don’t know and what we don’t know is how other people think; we only know how we, ourselves, think. It’s the level of narcissism that is fundamentally, at the heart of all of the pain of humanity. No one knows what another person is capable of thinking and doing and never will. Trust is a very huge issue for a lot of people, especially if they grew up with severely personality-disordered parents who were neglectful and/or abusive. In this environment, a child’s needs are never met and they almost become little con men to get what they need and want. Lying and cheating become second nature, an automatic reflex, a child’s default.
If you are a cheater and a liar and could never trust anyone when you were growing up, how can you trust people as a grown-up? You can not. If you can’t trust yourself to live a life based on integrity and honesty, how can you trust anyone else? You can not because it is like a foreign land to you and you don’t even speak the language. It’s the same thing on the other side of the coin, too: empaths get into a lot of trouble because they assume that other people have integrity, and are honest and straightforward, too. They want to think the best about other people coming out of the gate with little to no real information about them. You can not even really know your friends until mid-life when enough challenging experiences, setbacks, and failures have accumulated for everyone.
Most folk, however, do not naturally do this kind of introspection and self-awareness-building. Once you have had this kind of gear-shift however, it’s hard to go back to just assuming you know what people’s motives are or that you can predict their responses and behaviors accurately... instead, you’re instantly and unavoidably aware of how unpredictable and unfathomable other people really can be.
It then becomes increasingly clear who the real grown-ups with integrity are who do the next right thing (which is usually the harder thing) versus those who play the blame game and look for the easy way out or remain stuck.
Varalica misli da svi varaju, lažov da svi lažu, loš da su svi loši, a dobar da su svi dobri. Svatko polazi od sebe. Toliko i hvala.
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